The Universe

Today, the universe was laughing at my expense.

After a semi-peaceful morning, I took my time getting to my classroom, only to remember that a student was supposed to make up a test this morning. Totally claiming baby brain on that one.

Then, a few periods later, the contractions started.

They weren't painful, but never eased up and did get a bit worse and closer together.

After teaching my final class, I decided to head home a bit early and relax, hoping that putting my feet up would slow them down a bit.

On the way home, I got a flat tire. On 35E. During rush hour. AAA estimated 45 minutes. It took over an hour. Getting in and then continuing to ride in a tow truck does not make contractions go away, in case you're wondering. In fact, it makes them worse.

Once I got home, I discovered that laying on my side and drinking water didn't slow them down. And since I'll be having a c-section, the on-call nurse told me to head for the hospital.

Anja was very cute in the entire 23 minutes that I got to see her today.

4+ hours of having my contractions monitored by a less than stellar night nurse in labor and delivery, I was finally sent home.

I hadn't eaten anything since my apple and cheese snack at 3pm. Please remember that I am a pregnant woman with insulin dependent gestational diabetes. I was allowed ice chips. Oh, and my IV. Yummy. (PS - the stellar nurse didn't read the notes from the first nurse who actually knew that I had diabetes. Excellent.) I did finally get some Taco Bell on the way home. But that is a story for Dan to tell. Just mention "grain burritos."

Got home around 10:30pm to realize the AV adaptor I need for tomorrow is still at school and the one Dan has is too new for my computer. We figured it out, though. Which is good, because tomorrow morning I have to go defend my dissertation. I'm sure I'll be well rested.

Dear Universe,

I hope you enjoyed your laugh.

Love,

Susi

Labor: Anja style

Today, while at a fabric store, my mom took Anja for a walk around the store while I got some fabric cut. Upon their return, my mom (aka Nana) was laughing. Hard. Here's what they discussed while on their walk:

Nana: "What's wrong, Anja?"

Anja: "My tummy hurts. I pregnant. I need to get the baby out right now."

Later she gave birth to food baby twins.

*Dramatization. Not the actual labor or delivery.

Big Helper

Anja is a big helper. She loves helping Mommy and Daddy with the most seemingly mundane tasks. But she feels like a big girl when she does them, so obviously it's a win-win situation for us. Some of her favorite tasks are:

-putting the yogurt in the refrigerator drawer

-taking things from us while sitting in the shopping cart and tossing them in the basket

-sweeping

-laundry

-putting the dirty diapers by the front door (one of my favorites!)

The other day, she was helping me with laundry when she suddenly stopped, looked up at me, and said "Mommy, I all done. I no want to do more laundry. I want to fix brakes."

Yes, that's right. Not take a break. Fix brakes.

She is her father's daughter.

And 3 unrelated, quick stories from today:

1. While at Target, Anja watched a family with 2 kids and both parents. Then after a minute, she turned and asked me "Mommy, what dat Daddy say to the boy? He tell him no more hittin'?" I love that she's already tattling on kids she doesn't even know.

2. Also while at Target, a different man walked by and tried to greet Anja with "Hey, sweetie pie!" She tried to hide in her jacket until he turned the corner. Once he did, she popped back out and said, annoyed, "I no sweetie pie."

3. Upon arriving home, Dan came out into the garage to help unload the car (ie: get Anja out of her carseat). I complemented him on his new hair cut. Anja attempted the same. "Daddy! You have ears!"

Haircut

Haircuts are not exactly something that Anja is known for liking. Or even putting up with. Heck, even a sucker and Dora historically won't work to calm this girl down when a paid "professional" is within a 10 mile radius. Of course, we have been taking her to the internationally acclaimed "Kids Hair." Silly me. I thought the employees there actually knew that they'd be working with kids when they applied. Must have been a small applicant pool.

So we have been putting off Anja's haircut for quite some time. She was starting to look like Cousin It and she knew it. She has even mentioned to me that she needs a haircut. Again, I remind you that she screams bloody murder during any salon visits. I'm not sure what she was complaining about. Her hair was fine!

So, since joining Lifetime Fitness, we've discovered that they have 2 things that should be next to each other in the brochure: a salon and a zero-depth pool.

Enter bribery.

With promises of swimming with Mommy and Daddy firmly planted in her head if she let a woman she never met before cut off her glorious locks, we got her in the building. Heck, we made it all the way to the waiting area in the salon.

Enter Melissa.

Brave, patient Melissa.

Re-enter typical haircut-hating Anja, complete with partial cookie in hand, refusing to let go of Mommy and denying Melissa's attempts to put a "bib" on her.

After much dancing around the special-big-girl-haircut-chair-complete-with-a-cushion-just-for-you and a big-girl-haircut-bib with cars (remember, she loves cars!), the cushion was removed, Mommy sat on the chair (with a "bib", but not the one with cars, I'm sad to say) with Anja facing her. A chocolate treat bribe and an iPad playing Diego later, the hair cut commenced. Melissa quickly hacked off several inches while Anja asked about Melissa's little boy (no wonder she knew what bribes to use!), giggled at her new hair in the mirror, and told Daddy that he needs a haircut, too. When Melissa finished, Anja looked adorable and knew it. She told us that she had fun and that she would come back to let Melissa cut her hair again. Poor...er, lucky Melissa!

Anja's feet were barely on the ground before she was heading off to the family changing area to put on her "soup soup" (swimsuit). She's no dummy.

And later in the pool, after repeatedly dumping buckets of water over our heads and telling us that she was giving Dan a haircut (complete with chocolate treats), Dan managed to dump about half of one of the buckets down the back of her head. She immediately turned around and yelled at him until she saw that there was still water in his bucket. That stopped her dead in her tracks as the gears started turning. All she could say was "Daddy, how you do that?!" Pretty sure he blamed the toddler that had just gone by. Soon enough, Kif will be here to blame. Poor kid.

Statistics

All weekend, I was crunching numbers for the data analysis portion of my dissertation. Fun times. But that did allow me time to ponder and create my own equation.

Anja talks, well, constantly. It's completely understandable to most human beings. It's also very amusing. But sometimes, let's face it, Mommy and Daddy need a break from it. There's about one time frame that exists when it's as if all the stars are aligned and Anja isn't talking.

What's the secret formula, you may ask?

Comfy chair + giant bowl of grapes + sleep depravation + Super Babies Episode of Dora = 22 minutes of quiet.

Doubtful

Anja and I spent most of the day at Nana and Boppa's house so I could work on my dissertation. My grandma is staying with them for a few months. Apparently, after Great Grandma woke up from a nap, Anja approached her for a civilized conversation.

*Important notes: Yum Yum is my mom's cat's name. (It's a literary reference. Stop being so snooty.) Yum Yum does not care for anyone but my mom. Probably for good reason. And Great Grandma doesn't have the best hearing and will sometimes simply reply without having a clue as to what was said to her.

Anja: Gre-Grama, you take a nap?

Great Grandma: Yes.

Anja: With Num Yum?

Great Grandma: Yes.

(pause)

Anja (said with a head tilt and massive amounts of doubt): You took nap with Num Yum?

Busted, Grandma!

And later, I was getting a few frozen waffles for myself for lunch. I was in the playroom with Anja and Nana when Boppa let me know that my waffles were done. I started towards the kitchen and heard this:

Anja: Where Mama goin'?

Nana: To the kitchen.

Anja: To the kitchen?

Nana: Yes. She's making waffles for lunch.

(pause)

Anja (again, with a head tilt and massive amounts of doubt): Mama's cookin'?

Yes, dear daughter, despite the fact that your father does 99.9% of the cooking at home, I can, in fact, toast a frozen waffle. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Techie

Anja is a little tech fiend. She often tells us that she needs to check her email on her computer (Leaptop) and giggles incessantly when she gets the pre-programmed emails from Mommy, Daddy, Nana, and Violet. She loves my (her) iPad and has been able to operate it since she was 18 months old. She knows how to play games and watch movies and look at pictures of herself. And she also loves our phones. She knows that her phones don't actually work anymore, but she does like to play with ours when we let her. Our cell phones have the camera that can let you take pictures while viewing the screen, which she loves. And apparently she decided it was time for an impromptu photo shoot.

The technology she is growing up with makes me think back to the first computer we had - an old (very advanced for consumers at the time) word processor. And then I got this video from our media specialist. You may not be able to understand them (French Canadian kids), but there are subtitles. It certainly makes me wonder what technology Anja will deem ancient or not even be able to recognize when she's a bit older.

"I can't!"

Anja has really started using the phrase "I can't!" a lot. She sometimes uses it correctly, sometimes it's in place of "I don't." Sometimes cute, sometimes definitely not.

Dan's brother, Matt, likes to tease Anja with threats of hugs and kisses while saying "I love you sooooo much, Anja!" To which she responds "I can't love you so much."

Maybe that is how she actually feels. Maybe she just doesn't think that she can love him as much because he has a wider arm spam. Maybe she knows that he's been sick. Hard to say. She is 2, after all.

Then tonight after dinner, she wanted to give Baby Brother hugs and kisses and was telling him that she loves him and so do Mommy and Daddy. And then she translated amniotic fluid-speak for us. Apparently he loves all of us, too. Good to know.

In other news, today, in addition to the weekly biophysical profiles and NSTs, we had a growth ultrasound. Kif once again was a over achiever in all areas, but also made sure we knew he did not care for us laughing at him and his facial expressions.

Last week:

Yes, that was his tongue.

And today:

And Anja has discovered the fun that is contained in the bottom of an empty grocery bag.

I wonder where she got that.